To Old For My Age

Most of the time, I find it hard to connect with people my age. I have a lot of older friends because I get along easier with them. I have concluded this is because I have grown up to fast. I would not change my past even if I could because I love who I have become, but I do envy others for staying young longer then me. Unfortunately, I have witnessed and been a part of a lot of negative things that shaped me. Most kids did not see what I saw, therefore have a different perspective on many aspects of life. Not only has it affected the way we look at situations but also how we feel about them. I have been in therapy for around two years and have learned so much about myself and the world around me as cliche as that sounds, and because of that, I am emotionally mature and able to manage myself and situations around me much better than the average 18-year-old/young adult. Though this is a skill that benefits me in more ways, then I know, it is also a skill that has left me somewhat isolated. I am not interested in gossip and partying like most people my age, and that doesn’t mean I cannot hang out with them, but we have nothing in common. I usually feel like an aunt or older member of a family that wants to look out for people because I know what can happen. I wonder if that is part of the problem sometimes. That I worry about things that could happen, but the fact is it doesn’t to a lot of people. I also envy that, not worrying. Not worrying sounds like not suffering. But not worrying can also cause suffering. I am too old for my age.

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