I can confidently say this year was nothing like I expected it to be and it was much better. I didn’t think the grade 12’s at my school would want to be friends with me because I was doing a victory lap. I thought this year would be the loneliest of them all, and it turned out to be the opposite. I made many new friends who are just school friends but still good to have, and I formed many bonds I never knew I would. I did not feel any judgment from those who were younger than me for doing another year, and if anything, I felt they understood me. My teachers were also very kind and did not treat me any different for staying. I thought the worst part of the year would be the first days of the semester because I didn’t know anyone and the day of graduation because it was not my grade. In about a week, I will walk across that stage and have realized that I deserve to just as much as anyone else. I will get to see my childhood best friend graduate and will have all those who mean a lot there to cheer me on. Though I wish my principal who moved schools last year was there to graduate me because of how much credit she gets for helping me get here, I am just happy it is finally happening. After a long bumpy, filled five-year ride, I wouldn’t change it and am delighted it’s over.
Since I can remember, my family has owned a cottage. When I was young, we went looking at several different ones in many different places. We all got to have a say in what one we wanted, and we ended up choosing the one that I liked most. Now keeping in mind, I was very young and only loved this cottage because it had a paddleboat. We ended up buying it, and I have some of my best memories there. Though we never got to enjoy any paddle-boating because it floated away in the middle of the night the first time we stayed over, in fact every single one we had after that floated away or sank in the night. From the ant problem to the weird carpet, I would NOT stand on under any circumstances, or the way my bed felt wet every time I got in it from how moist the cottage was. All of the board games and machines we would spend hours playing, or the attic that was only good for hide and seek. We would jump off the roof in the winter because it was so close to the ground anyway, and had a bear living in our back yard. It was undoubtedly the cutest place I have been until we had to tear it down due to structural issues. A summer or so later and the new one was built, and we continued to make more memories. The bear moved back in after the renovations, and we were all complete. I learned how to fish, to drive watercraft’s, and so much more there. Going there in the summer is something I look forward to every year and even more now that I am healthy and can really have fun. Bringing people up to the cottage to experience joy with more than your family is also another advantage that makes everything better. As the school year comes to a close, cottage season opens, and I will keep you posted on just how much fun I have!
Honestly, for a long time in my life, I did not think I would make it to my high school graduation, let alone university. But here I am leaving in 2 months. As I write this, I feel so many different emotions. I am happy, nervous, sick, excited, nervous again, and then more nervous. I have never moved outside of the house I currently live in and have my whole life. I have never had a new room or new anything like this. The university I am attending is 2 hours away from my home on a good day, so even more on a bad day. Living in Canada also means bad winters, so that means the commute will be even harder. I am also going alone with nobody that I know, but I almost find more comfort in starting fresh and being able to meet many new people as I will be forced because I will be alone. Living on my own and taking care of myself while taking care of my studies brings me some stress because my family helps me organize and keep on top of things when I am stressed, but I will need to learn sometime or another. I also find comfort in knowing all of the other students who are going this September most likely feel the same way as I do, and we will be able to help each other through. Moving will be a huge change, and I don’t think I will ever feel ready. You never know until you try, so that’s all I have to do. Try.
I have wanted to travel since I can remember, and always thought I should see the country I live in before venturing outside. At the beginning of my recovery, I had a lot of time on my hands, and I searched up beautiful places in, making mental notes of what I wanted to see. Now two years later, when I am much more stable and healthy, I have decided before I go away to university I want to travel the east coast of Canada. This is because it is smaller than the west side, and it will be much easier to drive through because of that. Oh ya, and did I mention this is a road trip I will be going on! Once I have done this planning the west coast next summer won’t be as hard. I had intended on going with one of my girlfriends; however, as life got in the was as it commonly does and those plans fell apart. Now I will be going with my boyfriend of 3 and a bit years. Not only do I think I will feel safer, but I think this will be memorable no matter who comes along. I will be gone for around two weeks in the middle of the summer with my little Toyota Corolla, a bag of clothes, some food, money, and a lot of excitement. I plan to document this trip with my go pro so that I can look at this memory forever. Let me know if you have gone on any road trips, and leave some tips you have in the comment section. Stay tuned for my blog about the Road Trip: East Coast of Canada!
I have been fortunate in my years of education so far in that I have found several teachers who have inspired me to keep learning outside of the classroom, pushed me to do the best of my ability, believed in me when others didn’t and got me to enjoy going to school again. This was something no one else in my life was able to do, and something that needed to happen. One teacher in specific that I met at the Alternative school saved me, and when I say that I mean literally. When I switched from my public school to the alt school, I was in a terrible place both mentally and physically. I was in the worst part of my eating disorder, and it was only getting worse. I went to that school to focus more on my studies and be in a better environment. That is what happened and all because of my teacher. I was able to confide in him and tell him all the bad things that happened in my life without any judgment. Because he was a teacher at a school for ‘troubled’ kids, he saw and heard many stories from many different kinds of people. Though each is special and unique, they all overlap in places, so there was not a lot he hadn’t heard. I later confided in him that I was sick, and it ended up being the best decision of my life. When I was at the lowest place, I have ever been and will ever be, and he guided my family and me on the road to recovery. He opened me up to the world of psychology that I now have grown to love and am going to school to study. He made sure I was eating in the day when my family was not around. He is a friend and a mentor but also the best teacher I have ever had. I hope one day, everyone will have had an experience with a teacher that shaped them into who you are today.
I would like to first start with contradicting the title of this. With all of the debates currently going on in the western world about the abortion ban laws, I would bring my perspective to the growing conversation. Right now, if I am not mistaken Alabama, Ohio, Missouri, and Georgia are trying to get a bill passed to make abortions illegal, as soon as they can detect a heartbeat which can be as early as four weeks, and criminalize women who seek them out. Currently, Missippi was denied on their heartbeat bill; however, the rest of the states have not been and are pushing hard for it. So to get back to contradicting my title Pro-Choice or Life I want to point out that firstly, you do not necessarily need to be either. If you are pro-life, you can be for yourself, your family, and maybe even some of the people you decide to hang out with, however, you can respect others beliefs and rights to their own body like many other rights. I don’t need to believe in your religion to respect that you believe in it, and I don’t need to be gay to accept, nor do I need to be a scientist to respect that you didn’t want to be a doctor. Respecting what someone else is doing does not mean that you want it for yourself, but it is allowing others their personal freedom to do what they believe in for them. Secondly, though abortions can affect men, it does not affect them as much as it does to women in terms of their body changes, and the primary responsibility of childbearing is on her. Men should not be deciding what women can do with their body even if it can affect them. I believe this conversation carries so much stigma from religion and different viewpoints that give a lot of judgment to either side. I think if we could come together and respect all people and their decisions to do what they believe is best for themselves and no one else this would be easier to talk about, because if I respect you enough not to tell you what to do with your body then respect me too and show me the same.
Today I met some of my mothers, biological family. I met my aunt Karen, uncle John, and cousin Mike. Though my family life has been far less than average throughout my life, it is still something I value dearly and hold close to my heart. Growing up, I always felt a bit left out of society because this idea of what a family was, was not how identified with my own family. As I have gotten older that has changed even more, however, I have made it work to the best of my abilities and am very close with of few of my immediate and extended family. Now meeting family, I knew existed but thought I would never meet is astonishing. My mother is adopted, and though I love her family, I have always been curious as to who her biological family is. I had no idea about going into today what to expect, but all my expectations exceeded my thoughts, and I left very happy. It was so absurd to me that I felt so close to people I just met, and that I could talk to them better than some people I have known my whole life. My mom and her sister looked so alike it was so weird for me to see her with a family member who resembled her because I am not used to it at all. My aunt says she feels like we have so much missed time, but I do not see it that way. I see it as now we have all of this new time together, as well as more cousins who I will continue to know forever as well. Family isn’t always blood-related, some times they are, some times you have known them forever, and sometimes you’ll meet new ones you never knew you had.
The next federal election feels like it’s coming up soon. This coming October we will vote to have a new prime minister in office. A new person will be running our country and having the power to make extensive changes within our society — control over our rights, our rules, our lives. I have already started to read about the candidates because I want my vote to be educated and not pressured or influenced by my family, friends, or the media. This election is significant to me because it is the first federal election that I will be participating. I feel a lot of pressure to vote because I believe everyone should since we have the right, but I also feel the pressure to vote the right way…. what? What does that even mean to vote right? It means to sway with the masses and create the least amount of waves in the political pool. I want to change what that means to vote right. I want it to define it as if you feel that your decision will do the maximum good for our society, then it is right.
Who are you? Who do you feel like? What does that person feel like doing? Are there only one of you? Two? Maybe even more? Who am I? Most days, I know the answer. Most days, I have two answers. One that is the right answer, and the other I know is the wrong answer. I feel like I am split right down the middle, one side of me wants to follow the road society and my parents have laid out for me. The other half of me wants to say f*** that and go completely off the road at a 180-degree turn. These two roads are parallel to each other, so close that at any moment I could jump over to the other one. When traveling the most socially acceptable path, I am ever so tempted to jump over to the one that is not. However, I feel the same when I am on a route that will not be approved. One is more tempting the other, but that one is worse for me. Maybe that’s why society deems it unacceptable. Most days, I agree. I find that I am only tempted to go to the dark side when I am also feeling in a dark place. It seems like I can escape anything when I hide over there. Society doesn’t want me when I am there, and I don’t want me when I am there, my family, and my friends. I am left to self destruct.
That’s why I stay traveling the path that remains in the light. I stay where society can see me so that I can hold myself to their standards.