Who are you? Who do you feel like? What does that person feel like doing? Are there only one of you? Two? Maybe even more? Who am I? Most days, I know the answer. Most days, I have two answers. One that is the right answer, and the other I know is the wrong answer. I feel like I am split right down the middle, one side of me wants to follow the road society and my parents have laid out for me. The other half of me wants to say f*** that and go completely off the road at a 180-degree turn. These two roads are parallel to each other, so close that at any moment I could jump over to the other one. When traveling the most socially acceptable path, I am ever so tempted to jump over to the one that is not. However, I feel the same when I am on a route that will not be approved. One is more tempting the other, but that one is worse for me. Maybe that’s why society deems it unacceptable. Most days, I agree. I find that I am only tempted to go to the dark side when I am also feeling in a dark place. It seems like I can escape anything when I hide over there. Society doesn’t want me when I am there, and I don’t want me when I am there, my family, and my friends. I am left to self destruct.
That’s why I stay traveling the path that remains in the light. I stay where society can see me so that I can hold myself to their standards.
Halle's Blog 