Honestly, for a long time in my life, I did not think I would make it to my high school graduation, let alone university. But here I am leaving in 2 months. As I write this, I feel so many different emotions. I am happy, nervous, sick, excited, nervous again, and then more nervous. I have never moved outside of the house I currently live in and have my whole life. I have never had a new room or new anything like this. The university I am attending is 2 hours away from my home on a good day, so even more on a bad day. Living in Canada also means bad winters, so that means the commute will be even harder. I am also going alone with nobody that I know, but I almost find more comfort in starting fresh and being able to meet many new people as I will be forced because I will be alone. Living on my own and taking care of myself while taking care of my studies brings me some stress because my family helps me organize and keep on top of things when I am stressed, but I will need to learn sometime or another. I also find comfort in knowing all of the other students who are going this September most likely feel the same way as I do, and we will be able to help each other through. Moving will be a huge change, and I don’t think I will ever feel ready. You never know until you try, so that’s all I have to do. Try.
As I sit down to write this, I feel heavy with sadness. Now before you think that something has happened to my family, don’t. It is not affecting my family directly, but someone we love dearly and their family. My best friend’s mother has been diagnosed again after her remission with a stronger form of leukemia. Though her mother and I have never gotten along and never see eye to eye, she is an extraordinary woman who has gone through so much in her life and does not deserve this. It has been very hard on everyone in their families circle because supporting someone around an illness that may not get better is very hard. Not being able to make your friend feel better or take some of her sadness is a terrifying, ugly, uncomfortable feeling that I don’t wish upon anyone. Cancer is a disease that doesn’t only affect the body but the soul too. This topic is ever hard to write on because finding the words to describe a situation like this; it feels almost impossible. Though there are many more aspects to this situation that would be too much to get into I will say that not being able to be there for someone due to other obstacles is awful, and makes you feel helpless. I wanted to talk more on this, but as I said before it is challenging. I think I will leave this with be there for those you love, and cherish all the time you can because one day they won’t be here anymore and all you will have is the memories, so make them count.